Is it better to marry someone of the same educational, social, cultural, racial, and religious background? Should the man be older than the woman? Why or why not?
Marrying someone of the same or different background
Is it better to marry someone of the same educational, social, cultural, racial, and religious background? Should the man be older than the woman? Why or why not?
48 Comments
Galyna Sh
9/28/2010 12:12:07 pm
My opinion for this kind of question is: I think this is not good to marry some person from different country, because the person may have different thoughts about the Christianity. Like for example if I believe in God and my husband will believe something else, that would not be good. So I would recommend to married the person from the same country. And that is not good when one person is agreeing and another person disagree. And I think one of the people should have better education than another. I think the man should be smarter than the women. Some day if I get married, I want my husband to be smarter than me. So I don’t have to do everything, I can just help him to do stuff. But nobody knows who would be smarter, maybe I would be smarter and my husband will help me just a little bit. I think the man should be older for couple years than a woman. It is not good when the men is a lot older than the women, and the woman is older than man, because when people get older, and you are 50 years old and your husband is 75 years old, when you walk with your husband people think that that your father, not husband. And I think people should married each other only if they love each other.
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John
1/2/2017 12:29:40 am
Fix ur English
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Sarah
1/27/2017 08:50:48 am
This is an opinion page not a grammar or English class asshole
L3g3nd27
6/18/2017 03:47:06 pm
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L3g3nd27
6/18/2017 03:47:31 pm
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L3g3nd27
6/18/2017 03:47:51 pm
Like you can write better
Tatyana K.
9/29/2010 02:55:51 pm
Marrying someone with the same educational, social, racial, and religious background is the best thing for couples to do. People with the same background have fewer issues to argue about. My friend Olga married to an American man. They met each other in church; when her future husband was a missioner in Ukraine. It was love from first sight. They got married pretty soon and after that they moved to the United States. Now they have four children and a huge house in Auburn. They go to the same church and her husband tries to learn Russian. Her husband seems like a very nice man and they both look like a happy couple. Despite that she told me that her marriage met a lot of cultural problems. She also noticed that couples with similar situation as hers have the same family issues. In fact, she said that 90% of marriage couples with different cultural and racial background failed and divorced; just a few marriages can survive. Even though Olga and her husband love each other and share the same Christian qualities, they still have some difficulties in their marriage. In my opinion, men and women should be about the same age when they get married. People from the same generation have close interests and tastes. For example, older spouses like to spend evenings at home with children, at the same time younger spouses want to spend time outside the home. Some young people would rather chill out with their friends then sit at home and watch TV. These differences can cause problems in future relationship and especially in marriage.
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Ruslan Po
9/30/2010 07:35:19 am
I believe that marrying someone of the same educational, social, cultural, racial, and religious
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Yelena
10/1/2010 07:01:19 am
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. People marry for many reasons, for example: emotional, economical, social, and religious.
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Aynalem NI
10/1/2010 01:10:33 pm
Marrying someone of the same or different background ?
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Jenny M
10/1/2010 03:44:43 pm
I think that everybody dreams about that wonderful and lasting marriage. However, not everyone is that lucky. Most marriages end up in a divorce because when they are falling in loving, they never think about the other side’s education, social, cultural or the age. Love can cover people’s eye from the truth.
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Gidz
9/2/2017 06:27:32 am
Women dont mature faster than men, its a myth and is not proven.
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10/1/2010 04:50:07 pm
some people like to get married with other people different languages, but many people do not like. in my opinion people should not get married with other people different languages because they do not understand their partner said.that is very difficult for them to talk together.if the wife or husband live in other country different languages, they need to learning second languages to understand local people said. they need to get used to a completely new culture whereas the other one has to introduce his foreign partner to the rest of the family. And sometimes, the family seems to be a bit reluctant to welcome this foreign new member because they can’t communicate or because they know stereotypes about his/her country. also they can not talk together when they have a problem in their life. that is a reason why someone to be divorce. for example; my friend get married with different country. so she is very boring because she stays home any time, nobody to talk and her husband does not how to talk in VIETNAMESE. she does not go any where because she does not know second languages. when she sad or miss her family or has a trouble in her life, she does not how to say to her husband understand her problem. that is my reason to show for every body to know that get married with different languages very difficult to understand together or very hard to learn second languages or learn different culture
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Changmin Han
10/2/2010 05:46:06 am
All of these things are a superstition or a jinx. If you want to marry someone of the same background, just go ahead if you want. If you want to marry someone of different background, also go ahead if you want. Of course, the other person wants to marry you. And is it better to marry someone of the same educational, social, cultural, racial, and religious background? Why you are so stupid, I think you can’t marry another person. Because you figure up accounts. Marriage doesn’t point at just you. Do you understand? And Why do you always have to be so argumentative about everything? If you do that constantly, you have not to marry. I swear god. In addition should the man be older than the woman? Why do you think like stupid? It is also habit or custom. If you are a man and you want to marry older than you, just marry no one care about that. Because marriage is human’s free. Also there are bad marriages. For example, a marriage for money, a shotgun wedding, a loveless marriage and marriage by contract. Marriage is not contract thing don’t think about it. Marriage is great work. And if families don’t want about your marriage, you have to persuasion. Or I think just the decision is up to you. But don’t be too hasty to judge. There is best I had ever heard it. There are six requisites in every happy marriage. The first is faith and the remaining five are confidence.
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Alena P
10/2/2010 06:37:49 am
Personally for me, marriage is important. I believe marriage should consist of two persons of the same religion, close of age, the same nationality and similar social status. All these features make marriage easier and closer to the ideal. But there people, who do not want all of theirs relationship was smooth and just as ordered.
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Vasylysa M.
10/2/2010 09:25:57 am
In my opinion it is better to marry someone who is similar, rather than different from me. I believe in this because it is easier to understand a person who thinks similarly. Moreover, sharing the same hobbies, interest, goals and values can help in reducing the adjustment time required after marriage. For example, when a couple have a similar attitude towards work, they are able to understand each other’s decisions for things like staying late in office, or seriousness of an issue. Also, if two people share common goals that they want to achieve in life, they are able to work together rather than against each other. For instance, a husband may not want to have a child until five years after marriage, but the wife wants to, this can lead to misunderstandings, fights and effect inter-personal relationships. In most societies people look for partners with similar backgrounds and of the same religion. In this way the people are able to adapt to each other’s society. For instance, in my country i.e. Ukraine there is some amount of social stigma on inter-religion or inter-caste marriages. Thus eventually, the couples and their families face difficulty in adapting to each other’s cultural practices. Thus, for the above mentioned reasons I would prefer to marry someone similar to me.
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Paraskoviya M.
10/2/2010 09:34:02 am
As an American expat, I've seen more cultures than I can count and I think it's the best thing about my life. Culture is incredibly important to me. Without culture, wouldn't we all be the same? Being "cultured" is one of the best things a person can ever aspire to. I think that loving a person is what matters, and not what culture that person is from. That said, there are pros and cons to both sides. If the person is from a different culture, you learn all kinds of new things and experience a new culture like a native. Future children will understand two cultures and will be more accepting of different cultures than most are. However, there could be misunderstandings, and you could find it hard for your spouse to completely understand you as much as someone from your own culture would at times. You might have conflicting beliefs and traditions that you both value. If you marry someone of the same culture you don't both get to experience new cultures, and neither would your children. But you might find it easier to understand each other. Basically, if you marry someone of a different culture, it's an adventure for both of you. Marrying someone of the same culture is also an adventure (marriage always is!) but many things would be simpler. It really depends on the kind of person you are and whether or not, deep down, you are open to such a different person from yourself.
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Veronica C
10/2/2010 10:32:07 am
Well that depend of situation and of what person is looking for.
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Bénédicte C.
10/2/2010 11:39:34 am
I think that it is always better to marry someone of the same background. But if I fall in love with someone of a different background, it is not a problem. From my point of view, the most difficult is when the religious background is different in a couple. I think if the two persons really love each other, they can overcome all the issues; although it’s difficult to change yourself to get closer of your partner’s background, and you cannot ask him to change his religion or his opinion. When two persons with very different background get married, the glance of others is always hard to support.
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Nataliya No
10/2/2010 12:14:25 pm
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fatima Hernandez
10/2/2010 05:14:15 pm
In my opinion, I think it doesn’t matter what kind of education, social, culture, racial or background you have it’s all about what you feel inside. There is exception in some situations. One of the most popular one is when is about classes of families most of the time rich people marry other rich person. In their situation sometime family are the ones who choose the person they want their son or daughter to marry. Another one is racial, even though I think it doesn’t matter whom you marry, I’ve noticed that not just in my culture we are used to marry those with our own ethnic. At the same time there are many examples where you can see that many people don’t care if they get married to other ones with different situation. It can be sometime hard to be with someone with different ways to live, because everyone lives differently and sometime it can be hard to get used to the other person’s life. In the other side at the same time I think is easier to get along with people those whom are in the same situation that you are. For example, sharing the same religion, having the same education, or speak the same language. Speaking the same language it is way easier because couples understand each other more and know how their own culture thinks and doesn’t manipulate things wrong. In conclusion I think sometime we think it’s easier to marry someone with in the same culture or way to live, but getting married to someone different doesn’t make things less better.
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Anaam Jassim
10/2/2010 06:41:58 pm
Marrying someone of the same or different background
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MARTHA DLR
10/3/2010 03:46:03 am
Marriage Between Cultures
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Matvey Kh
10/3/2010 10:30:09 am
I think that marrying someone of the different background is not a good idea. On the one hand the differences in education and social status are less important. On the other hand the differences in culture, race and religion is much more serious. We live in a world where electronic technology allows to communicate with people from any country. Moreover, in connection with the development of transport and migration of people, we meet people who have different educational, social, cultural, racial, and religious background everywhere. Society is divided. Some people are stands for such marriages but other is against. Nobody can say for sure that people in such marriages are unhappy. I am against only some differences, for example religious and culture. The scriptures of many religions are advised not to marry people from other religions. This is reasonable. For people with different ideas and beliefs is difficult to come to a consensus. People may be surprised or annoyed some of the cultural traditions of the spouse. Often such families do not have unity and harmony. Children suffer the most. They have to choose between parents. All this leads to difficulties in the family. Many families fall apart. How about racial differences? In my opinion there is nothing wrong with it. However, under the racial differences are often hidden cultural differences.
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Bekmuhamed Sa.
10/3/2010 11:02:38 am
Marrying someone of the same different background? Races, reliqions, cultures, traditions, social, educational,older,younger.
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Olga Tymoshenko
10/3/2010 11:12:33 am
Marriage of the man and the woman this one of the important events in a life of people. My opinion that people married with identical views on a life .For example,if the husband has a formation and it can provide the family that it not so important.If the wife does not work but it brings up children.If the husband the American and the wife Russian I think it normally too.My opinion if they from different cultures it will be already difficult to live it together because they on a miscellaneous have been brought up. They will have different opinions in life. If the wife holds a hight post on work and the husband is not present it too there will be problems in a family.In a family all should be mutual and the general interests.Also is both of them of Christian creed it is good.If husband does not execute a precept of God and he drinks, smokes or changes with other women, it is a problem will be in their family.I think that it is necessary to be very much cautious in a choice of the husband and the wife.And the main thing that the love was in heart.I think that a litle necessary for love that there were thoughts are similar, reasonings and desires.
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Lyudmyla Ya
10/3/2010 12:23:16 pm
All people are differentea each from other in their life.People are different in their traditions,social origin education,religions cultures,races and etc.
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Serhiy Ve.
10/3/2010 12:32:23 pm
In my opinion, it is better to marry someone of the same educational, social, cultural, racial, and religious background.
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Armine Ga
10/3/2010 01:15:25 pm
I believe that people should marry with same background. It is generally believed that getting married to someone with similar cultural and religious background will be better. This will avoid the possibility of disagreements and arguments that may arise from the difference. But that did not prevent many cross-cultural marriages from taking place. And they live just like any other couples. I personally think that cultural, religious, and educational factors play a very minimal part in marriages. With love comes understanding and tolerance. Moreover, it's love that bonds two people together, not culture, religion, or educational background.It would be nice that people would get married with similar backgrounds.That doesn't happen a lot in American because they are a lot of people from different countries that have different backgrounds.It is very hard for a person who gets married with someone that doesn't have the same background because of communication.Marring someone with different religion can also cause converting religion.When my uncle was in a relationship with a Russian girl and wanted to get marry with her,his family was against it. My grandmother wanted him to get married with someone with same backgrounds as him. They couldn't do anything about it because they loved each other.Eventually they got married and they live a happy life now.It doesn't matter if the man is older than than the woman. It matters that they understand and love each other.But usually men are older than women. Sometimes young men get in love with older women. I don't agree with that because those marriages don't last for long time. Young men can get disappointed at any moment and can leave. In conclusion love is the main thing.
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natan demesse
10/3/2010 01:56:12 pm
Marrying someone of the same or different background it may work for some people or may not work others. This is an individual decision which by two people come in to an agreement and lives together under the same roof. In some cultures marriage can be arranged by the elders based on different situation. For instant in India the parents of the bride will ask the groom parents in a young age, for hand in marriage. The bride and groom will probably at the age of nine to thirteen when the parents plan their future for them. A small wedding will take place to make it official and an exchange of livestock or money for the bride family. After the wedding the bride and the groom will continue to live with their parents till they are old enough to have their own home. In this modern day and age people crossing this boundaries more and more in different part of the world. For example some people will try to find their soul mate online from different countries; an older man marries a younger woman, same sex marriage, and marrying someone for a better life. Religions and tradition plays a big factor in marriage. There are many religions in the world. Some religion allows a man to have up to seven wives and other religion will not allow widowed to remarry. Tradition shows us a man should be older than the woman in marriage because a woman body and mind matures faster than a man, therefore age difference is important. In my opinion two people should marriage based on attraction and pure love for each other.
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Gina G
8/28/2015 01:23:32 pm
I believe you are right Natan
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Vachagan Da
10/3/2010 02:06:43 pm
Cultural backgrounds are only one of many factors to consider in choosing who to date and who to marry. They are, however, important so consider thoughtfully as culture often has more influence than many couples may suspect. Mature individuals consider the possible difficulties very seriously before dating and falling in love. When you are in love, it seems like you can overcome anything. It is important to make sure that racial and cultural differences don't become a stumbling block to a successful marriage after the initial infatuations have worn off.Marriage is an important thing in our life in the future. We need to think it before decide to do that.We wish to live with our partner the rest of our life, that's why we have to choose our partner very very carefully. We must know his or her background. It is better to marry someone with the same culture, social, education, even religion. It is good to minimize conflict. but sometimes love is blind. We never care about that aspect and just go on with our choice.In my opinion people should be friendly with all different people. We are all humans and live on the same planet.Marring some with different background can be difficult because comparing and learning cultures etc. will take long time. I agree that a man should be older than a woman by few years. I don't agree when a woman is older than a man.On the other hand age doesn't matter. For example I had a neighbor who's wife was older than him.His wife looked old, but he looked young.They were very peaceful family.They respected each other and they had eight kids. I have never seen them arguing about something. In conclusion marriage is a serious thing in our lives.
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Olga Ca
10/3/2010 02:56:43 pm
In my opinion, I think that love does exist in relationships, because if you have love there shouldn't be any problems, it is very important to get to know each other first with your boyfriend or girlfriend and not rush getting married.I know many friends of mine that had bad marriages, friends that are Hispanic that got married with Americans.I think because of different cultures, that is why there are many divorces and now Hispanic get married with their own race. Also I have friends that have been married for 20 years, and
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Elvia Es
10/3/2010 03:23:20 pm
I think it is not important, religion, culture, races, traditions, social educatioal, or age, the important thing in this situation is real love, if you love you're fiance and let him/her decide about what he/she wants to think about, everything will be easier for both.
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Lindsay F
10/3/2010 03:23:50 pm
In my opinion, to get married with somebody with different background is good or bad in many ways. When two person find in love, nothing is important than the love between them.
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Kevin H
10/3/2010 03:46:09 pm
Marrying someone of the same or different background
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Mark Kh.
10/3/2010 03:56:41 pm
I think it is better not to marry if people have too many different things. Usually in life of people the race, culture, education, religion, age play an important role. For example people can appreciate that they belong to a certain race or have high education. This thing could induce these people to put themselves above others. Also if education or race are considered by society as low, those people can feel inferior.Marriage can greatly complicate the life of people having different culture, religion, education, etc. For example it is very difficult to reconcile Christianity and Islam or Judaism, and Buddhism. Even if difference in religions is not an impediment to marriage for loving each other, they have to remember about relatives, friends and acquaintances. Clearly that the majority of relatives will be against their marriage. In history we know many dramatic cases when people loving each other couldn't marry because of religious or other prejudices. Also there is a lot of cases when successful marriages broke up because of internal contradictions in a family. For example, what religion will parents choose for their children? This is not a simple question for spouses. Big difference of ages is important too. People quickly grow old and this this can lead marriage to crash. My opinion is that the best marriage with person like you. A person who is from your nation, religion, educatiotion, and approximately your age. I think if you do so, the marriage will be successful.
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Tina Sh.
10/3/2010 04:14:36 pm
In my opinion marrying someone of the different background is acceptable, but I would not recommend it. I think, we have to love all people as “one nation under God”, and don’t think that some nationalities or some level of education, social, cultural, racial background is better than others. A lot of people live in marriage with different backgrounds. Many of them are successful. But, if we take into consideration the fact that more than half of all marriages end with a divorce, we can understand our modern society has big problems in relationship. I see a lot of problems in families where husband and wife are from one city, one religion, one culture, and in same age. They are just from two different families where they were growing up, but they already have different world viewing and can fight on any subject matter. Of course pairs who come from different cultures, religions, social, or education backgrounds are taking a risk. On the top of all problems that usual couples have, we can add ethnic and interreligious. For example, if one of spouses is Christian and other is from different religion they will want to go to different churches and spend a lot of time apart. They will want to take their kids to separate churches. They will have disputes and fights. If one is much older than the other, they can have problems too. For instance, if husband is 20-30 years older than his wife he will want to stay at home and relax, while she will want to go somewhere and have fun. I know one couple like that. Pursuing a line under all the foregoing I want to say that if man and woman love each other they could marry because real Love can cover all of the differences, imperfections, disputes, and other problems. In my opinion only one reason can resist marriage – different religions.
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Levon Na
10/3/2010 04:40:38 pm
Where are you coming from and where are you going? In my opinion anybody can be happy and prosper if he or she is married to the person of the same background. I think, that the background philosophically means:
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Oksana P
10/3/2010 04:49:26 pm
In my opinion it is better to marry someone of the same culture, background, religion,and close age to yours. I believe in this because it is easier to understand a person who thinks and believes the same. If two people share the common goals that they want to achieve in life,they are able to work together rather than against each other. If you sharing the same hobbies, interests, goals, values, faith and religion can help you in reducing the adjustment time required after marriage. Also if there is a big difference in age between two people very often it is a big problem and a lot of them getting divorce. Because differences in personal goals and interests are also cause for divorce. Usually it happens when spouses did not talk about their goals and interests before the marriage. After a while, they discover that they have different interests and they begin to be bored with each other and look for other company to share their common interests. For instance, the husband likes fishing very much and he spends all his weekends with his friend fishing, but his wife sits at home alone and waits for him. Also, if a couple has different goals in their combined life, they cant have a happy family. For example, when one of the spouses want to have children but another doesn't want them, this situation will push them apart and towards divorce, and then start a new family. It is very important for couples to discuss goals and interests before marriage to prevent a divorce after a short time marriage.
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Salam AB
10/3/2010 04:59:44 pm
I think it is better to marry someone with the same cultural ,and the reason why I think it is better is,because I am a refugee, I know when you start living in a new culture it is like starting from the ground.you have to learn about everything. Everyone expect you to do the things in their way.you feel your self like a child with an adult's ability.So the person who gets married with someone who has a lot of common traditions with him can act in the way that he used to.On the other hand ,sometimes the difference of the educational level between the couples creates a problem between them.Not all the time the couples have to be well educated,or being in the same level.As I know most of the people who are getting married are not in the same educational level.I think it could be a problem if one of the couples has a good degree (well educated) , and the other has no degree or any education at all.It seems the people here in America kinw of getting rid of the restrictions that is on the social,and racial background.Nowadays we can see many African American women have gotten married with a white person,or many Latinos people have gotten married with American or non-Latinos.The only background that I think will still difficult to ignore it while choosing your lover is the religious background.many families start to discontinue their relationship between them ,and their sons when they (the sons) get marry to a different background holder.It also not just related to them ,but it decided their spiritual future as many of us thing.The woman should not be older than the man because love does not know what age he/she is.
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Kim Nguyen
10/4/2010 02:28:26 am
Marrying someone of the same or different background
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toan n
10/4/2010 04:49:12 am
In my opinion, it’s better to Marry someone of the same culture, racial and religious with many reasons. First of all, the couple will happy when they have same social and culture. They live in same social mean same environment. They feel comfortable than different social. They don’t have to learn much than the different one. They don’t feel strange. They will have easy life. People live in same social that means they know the culture. They know the custom, traditional of their culture. That’s easy for them. For example, new year in Vietnam, the husband prepares to renew their house like pain the door, clean the wall. The wife cooks food and worship to the ancestor. Second, it’s perfect if the couple have same racial and religious. Same religious more important because they just follow one religious, that’s easier for them. For example, if the couple follow god, they will go to the church together, do something about their belief together. It helps the couple united, their family will happy and comfortable. Otherwise, the couples don’t have to same education because a happy family is respect, love each other. Education is a tool in their life, that why they don’t have to have same education. For example, my uncle marries with his wife. She didn’t study much, but she treats people around her very well. She is respected her parents’ husband. In short, the couple will happy if they have same social, culture and religious.
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yoann d
10/4/2010 06:46:57 pm
In my opinion, marrying someone of the same background is easier, because of the language and the culture. The both family would have faster a better relation because there won't be the problem of language. However, I think it's not the most important thing in a relation, for me if we are in love with someone, it shouldn't have a barrier. Even though the family should be a problem, the couple have to be stronger in order to stay together.
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Tatyana San
10/10/2010 12:35:57 pm
I don’t think a race, education, culture or anything else matter when it comes to getting married. In my opinion, love must be a main feeling for the living together, and only love is a very imperative. Love can change people for better, they become to be with good quality inside, kind, generous, romantic, happy. If everybody has love, our world will be perfect. Of course , it’s easy to understand each other when a couple from the same background, have same habits, religion, social, but I don’t want to be afraid to explore what I don’t know. Every person is unique, and every chance can be different and exceptional. I believe, that as long as you love someone you can and should be able to get married to them. I don’t like when people don’t have freedom to make a choice to be happy with whom in love. For example, when religion , education, age or advices from different people can be reasons to don’t get married. I respect people who have courage to be exclusive and listen to their heart, and do only their own decisions, and have own opinion. I believe, that how people grew up, what a condition it was, or they had or not mother or father, all of these, form people’s thoughts and behavior, but when we are in love we can feel different that we know, and we speak in love language. I have my own example, my boyfriend is younger than me, but we love each other, and I feel happy with him. We have relationship for three years and our love and feelings become deeper and increase. So, love to me is more important than a background, and people have to have love and this feeling will teach people how they should act and create their unique lives.
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Daniella
12/13/2011 04:11:35 am
I have been married about 2 years. My husband is born in the sixties, and I am born in the eighties. The part that we have in common in the era of values. I was raised with old values. I was told to get a college education and then look for marriage and so forth. He was told to work hard and start a family young. We were raised by people who did not want any change from the norm. Our parents raised us to do what was proven to work. My husband is one of the most educated people I know. He studied for college, masters, and doctorate. I was only interested in bachelors degree because for one, I like to prove what I can do on the job and also I have not been able to earn more with more education, mostly about the same money no matter what I studied.
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john
4/16/2015 01:46:36 am
So many people say "do this because it is easier..." so? since when is the easy path the best one?!
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